I’m currently a 20 year old girl. Or woman, I suppose I’m a woman.
My body is still changing in ways that are new to me. I’ve put on thirty pounds since leaving high school. I just recently decided to stop taking birth control. I’m surrounded by women who pick their bodies apart piece by piece. And here I am, trying to make sure that I love myself.
My body has changed a lot in the past 6 years of my life. I got my period when I was 16, so I started developing that womanly figure. I gained a few pounds and was kind of uncomfortable in my body. I wasn’t sure how to change it though! I thought cardio was the way to go. Side note: It wasn’t.
Then I unexpectedly lost 20 pounds. This wasn’t a good thing but I was excited about it! I was skinny again; my old pants didn’t fit and now I was a size zero in most brands. However, I lost my period and I was always cold and underweight. It wasn’t a good time in my life but I loved my body for being skinny!
And here I am, three years late. I’ve gained around 30 pounds, on top of the 10 pounds I needed to gain, since coming into college. I’ve dated boys who have told me that I wasn’t skinny enough when I was 125 pounds and that sentence crosses my mind often. My current boyfriend, thinks I look amazing and says he doesn’t even realize I’m 155 pounds. Which is always lovely to hear but I wanted to love my body the way he does.
I started weight lifting my sophomore year of college and I stopped thinking about my body as just a shell that I’m walking around in. I started thinking of myself as a machine! A machine that I had to be able to fuel with delicious and healthy foods in order to grow stronger. In order to do the things that I loved to do, I had to stop putting so much emphasis on being as little as I could be. I had to start realizing what my body could and would do for me if I gave it the proper nutrition.
My body is master piece. It may not be able to fit into size 0 jeans anymore but I can guarantee that it wouldn’t have been able to go rock climbing or on four hours hikes when it could fit into those jeans. I found a way to love myself even when others around me couldn’t find a way to love themselves.
I think it’s really important that you find a way to love yourself. Focus on one new thing that you love every single day. Don’t just make it the physical features, think mental, talent, or skill wise as well.
Finding a way to love yourself is a very important part of growing up; I don’t think there’s enough emphasis on this. I wish there was more.
This is just my thoughts on self love. I hope it inspires you to go through the journey of finding yourself.